So this week I've decided to talk about one of my favorite artists, Marina Diamandis, or as an artist, known as Marina and the Diamonds. She combines a techno pop feel with lyrics that have the depth of indie music, with some of the same cliches of pop. While her entire discography is pretty much AMAZING, and I would recommend you listen to it, there are a few songs that I definitely feel a stronger connection to at times. Among them is The State of Dreaming, which has its lyrics below, as well as the music video.
Millions of girls float on their one quote
Living on their last hope, on their last hope
I live my life inside a dream
Only waking when I sleep
I would sell my sorry soul, if I could have it all
My life is a play, is a play, is a play
My life is a play, is a play, is a play
Yeah I’ve been living in the state of dreaming
living in a make-believe land
living in the state of dreaming, of dreaming, of dreaming
All I really want is to be wonderful
People in this town they, they can be so cruel
I live my life inside a dream,
only waking when I sleep
If I could sell my sorry soul, I would have it all
My life is a play, is a play, is a play
My life is a play, is a play, is a play
Yeah I’ve been living in the state of dreaming
living in a make-believe land
living in the state of dreaming, of dreaming, of dreaming
If only you knew my dear,
How I live my life in fear
If only you knew my dear,
How I know my time is near
Yeah I’ve been living in the state of dreaming
living in a make-believe land
living in the state of dreaming, of dreaming, of dreaming
living in the state of dreaming
living in a make-believe land
living in the state of dreaming, of dreaming, of dreaming
My life is a play, is a play, is a play
Performed by Marina Diamandis
Written by Marina Diamandis, Devrim Karaoğlu, and Rick Nowel
Starting at the beginning the following lyrics are sung:
I live my life inside a dream
Only waking when I sleep
At many times throughout my life, I have felt as if I am only truly myself when I am alone and dreaming, and that few people know me. Even today, I still find that to be true.
But where I really start to find meaning with is the the Pre-Chorus:
But where I really start to find meaning with is the the Pre-Chorus:
My life is a play, is a play, is a play
My life is a play, is a play, is a play
I find myself connected to this lyrics. Often I feel as if my emotions and personalities are simply projections, staged for the benefit of myself more than others, thinking about it. That is not to say that I never stage my actions for the benefit of others and acceptance, more just in that I lie to myself.
Then the chorus comes:
Then the chorus comes:
Yeah I’ve been living in the state of dreaming
living in a make-believe land
living in the state of dreaming, of dreaming, of dreaming
To me, this kind of reflects the lies I've told myself throughout my life in order to maintain sanity. On a deeper level, it reflects how my full reality only comes out in these sort of dreams in which I am fully true to myself and others.
Then the second verse goes:
Then the second verse goes:
All I really want is to be wonderful
People in this town they, they can be so cruel
I live my life inside a dream,
only waking when I sleep
If I could sell my sorry soul, I would have it all
This verse resonates with me for a multitude of reasons. In the first line, the desire to be perfect is something that has driven me to problematic situations. The next line resonates with me due to my fear of the condemnation and actions of society if I fully allow myself to show to others. Then the last verse really hits me. If I could only give up myself, who I am, I, or in this case, whoever that is, wouldn't need to worry about these things.
The chorus follows, followed by the bridge:
The chorus follows, followed by the bridge:
If only you knew my dear,
How I live my life in fear
If only you knew my dear,
How I know my time is near
Many reasons this resonates with me, some I'm more uncomfortable with saying than others. But overall, I'd say that few people really know what I deal with, and how I'll cover my darker emotions.
Marina closes with another verse, which again reflects both my desire to live in this sort of dream state where my problems don't exist. Then the conclusion comes:
Marina closes with another verse, which again reflects both my desire to live in this sort of dream state where my problems don't exist. Then the conclusion comes:
My life is a play, is a play, is a play
It ends on the somber note that my life and most of it's actions are just staged.
This is not to say that I'm never true with anyone and I am constantly hiding all emotion. Far from it, I won't censor laughter and humor from being expressed; and, thinking about it, I will take any humor I can for a laugh, since I'd rather be happy than whatever other emotions I might feel. In a way, that itself is a defense mechanism, the state of dreaming that I live in.
This is not to say that I'm never true with anyone and I am constantly hiding all emotion. Far from it, I won't censor laughter and humor from being expressed; and, thinking about it, I will take any humor I can for a laugh, since I'd rather be happy than whatever other emotions I might feel. In a way, that itself is a defense mechanism, the state of dreaming that I live in.